Why does a person emotionally abuse

If you or someone you know is experiencing emotional abuse in a relationship, it is important to have support. Some people feel embarrassed to admit they have a problem, but help is essential. Go to Services Australia for information on domestic violence in languages other than English including audio resources. Learn more here about the development and quality assurance of healthdirect content. Information about child abuse including physical, sexual, emotional abuse, neglect, domstic and family violence.

Read more on Blue Knot Foundation website. Emotional abuse is a type of abuse that you can experience in an abusive relationship. Learn about the signs to look out for, the effects of emotional abuse and how to deal with it at ReachOut.

Read more on ReachOut. Know how to recognise the warning signs and about the 4 types of child abuse. What are aggressive behaviours? Changes in the behaviour of people with dementia are very common. Sometimes this can include aggressive behaviours such as verbal abuse, verbal threats, hitting out, damaging property or physical violence towards another person.

Read more on Dementia Australia website. Domestic and family violence Anyone can experience domestic and family violence. It happens across communities, ages, cultures and sexes. If you've ever experienced unpredictable displays of affection, you may have felt the effects of emotional abuse even without knowing it. Sometimes, it's difficult to tell whether you're having normal relationship problems or being manipulated. Many victims of abuse discover the harmful effects over time.

After all, if abusers acted this way from the start, how would they develop relationships to begin with? It all comes down to timing. The same kind of thing can happen in relationships. Thankfully, there are ways to recognize the signs upfront in favor of healthier relationships. If you think you might be experiencing emotional abuse, reach out to friends and family for validation and reminders that you're not alone.

Emotional abuse usually takes place as a means for one person to control another. If you're worried that you may be experiencing this with your partner, Benton says to look for these ten signs defined by Dr. John Gottman of The Gottman Institute :. According to Benton, one important distinction to make is that in healthy relationships , disagreements are seen as an opportunity for growth—and both people make an effort to find common ground.

They have just as many as people in bad relationships," Benton says. While it can be difficult to discern, she notes that mind games are common in emotionally-abusive relationships.

One partner may be surprised by the other's sudden pleasant mood, or confused by bouts of unexpected love. Characteristics of Emotionally Abusive Men and Women Emotionally abusive men and women are of all different types but some common characteristics are found among many of the abusers. Other characteristics of emotionally abusive men and women include: 1 Low self-esteem — some abusers abuse others to make themselves feel good about themselves, although some people feel that the opposite is true in many cases.

Rush into relationships — some abusers enter relationships and claim "love at first sight" very quickly, perhaps fearing being alone. Read about: Dynamics of Emotional Abuse in Relationships, Marriage Extreme jealousy — an abuser may see jealousy as a sign of love rather than possessiveness. Having unrealistic expectations or demands — an abuser will demand that the victim be the perfect spouse, lover, and friend and fill every need, even when this isn't reasonable or healthy.

Create isolation — an abuser will work to cut off ties to the victim to keep the victim completely centered on the abuser. Use of force during sex — acting out scenarios where the victim is helpless may be part of their sex life.

Use drinking to cope with stress — alcohol doesn't cause the abusive behaviors but abusers have a higher-than-average rate of alcohol abuse Have poor communication skills — abusers may have trouble with open conversations about their feelings so they abuse instead. Are hypersensitive — abusers often take the slightest action as a personal attack. Appear charming to others — abusers tend to hide all their abusive behaviors in other scenarios so that the victim is the only one that sees their abusive side making it very difficult for the victim to reach out for help Information about Emotional Abuse Help.

Personality Disorders and Emotionally Abusive Men and Women It is also known that many emotionally abusive men and women have a type of mental illness known as a personality disorder. Three personality disorders are linked to emotionally abusive behavior are: 2 Narcissistic personality disorder — this disorder involves the perception of being grandiose and requiring the admiration of others.

People with narcissistic personality disorder exaggerate their own accomplishments, have a sense of entitlement, exploit others, lack empathy, envy others and are arrogant. There are many reasons individuals have low self-esteem. Most of them never become abusers, but some do. The negative thoughts that come through reflection are painful. One of the many ways to avoid thinking about oneself is to find fault in others and to create arguments. Doing so keeps the focus outside of oneself.

Thus, abuse and all its associated volatility is self-serving. People who feel worthless and unappreciated will sometimes resort to bullying tactics to get others to acknowledge their worth. To the extreme, this can evolve into emotional abuse whereby the perpetrator is trying to force the victim into acknowledge his or her superiority. Some abusive individuals have a low emotional IQ. For whatever reason, their age does not reflect their ability to think, feel, and behave in a responsible and reasonable way.

Abuse as a tonic for low self-esteem is doomed to fail. An abuser is feared, not loved. Such a relationship with others can only lead to failed relationships, lack of intimacy, and avoidance. Rather, they are unwell individuals that need medical help. However, since some of you are trying to sort out why you are being emotionally abused, I have included this category as part of the explanation.

There are numerous personality disorders that express themselves with extremely aggressive and insensitive behaviors. Some examples of such disorders include narcissistic personality disorder, bipolar disorder which is actually a mood disorder , and borderline personality disorder. Living with these individuals often means living in terror, especially when the underlying disorder is left untreated. Due to their genetic constitution, some individuals find it difficult to resist their impulses.

As a result, they often overwhelm, and even crush, their partners. People with genetic predispositions for aggressive and abusive behaviour are not intentionally abusive, but there are appropriate therapies and medical treatments to help them learn to restrain themselves and act in a more socially acceptable way. Taking the necessary steps to eliminate negative behaviour can help to keep them accountable.

Someone who would otherwise be reasonably mannered might reveal their abusive side when alcohol or drugs enter the picture. Although these individuals might claim that the substances are the cause of the abuse, there is no excuse for their behavior.

If someone chooses to use drugs or alcohol and others have told him or her that their intoxication brings out abusive behaviour, it is now their responsibility to stop.

Refusing to kick the habit means that they must be held accountable and correctly labeled as abusive, as anyone without the consumption of substances would be. Knowing why things happen will help you to figure out an appropriate response.