How long to stop thinking about an ex

Need Help? Search Questions or Ask New:. Moderated by Tanyia Hughes , Adv Dip Psy Psychotherapist I have been through a lot in life too, which helps me to be able to empathize with situations, thoughts and feelings that we have.

Top Rated Answers. Start a new chapter.. It's going to hurt but when you realise the pain is gone you will be in a happier place :. Did you find this post helpful? When you decide to. Distance yourself. Switch your thoughts to something else when you catch yourself thinking about your ex. If you want to just lessen the pain however, you can think about your ex in a positive light, i.

Also, I believe that time is still needed in recovering from breakups, but how much time differs from person to person. However, you can make it shorter if you choose to.

When you will find the right thing in your life. Thinking about ex is like being in past world and wasting time and energy. Accepting leads the path way! Anonymous April 12th, pm. Dont try to stop thinking about your ex try to start thinking about them as a part of your past that you have learned from. Anonymous August 24th, pm. If you love them, then I would say never.

You never stop thinking about them and that isn't a bad thing. You had something special, embrace it, be thankful and move on, there is a reason they are now your ex. It depends on how deep your bond is. For me personally, it took 7 years, simply because he meant the world for me. My thoughts on him were about "what if's. Every partner in your life will hold something dear to you, but with every passing person, be aware that they leave a present for you to be one step closer to be the best person you can shape yourself to be.

After all, as the old saying goes, "The best way to get over someone is often to get under someone. Thinking about an ex can also take a toll on you, one that should not be taken lightly.

When this is the case, she suggests seeking outside help. So, you can't put thoughts of your ex on halt, but can you get through it? For instance, it's common to idealize past relationships—even the bad ones—which is often not an accurate depiction of what unfolded.

Whenever that happens, try to remind yourself that your ex is your ex for a reason. If it helps to list out those reasons, break out the pen and paper! Whether you're fresh off a breakup or your relationship is squarely in the rearview, thinking about your ex is a part of the healing process, like eating ice cream and binge-watching sad movies.

Don't sweat the occasional thought, but be mindful of the role they play in your life. There's that pesky chat sidebar where, for some reason, his best friend is still listed Attention Mark Zuckerberg: Please create an algorithm to fix unwanted names on the chat sidebar.

There's the friend who, as part of TBT, comments on an old group picture with the two of you in it, giving you a notification and forcing you to look at your ex's face. Clearly, there's way more to "getting over it" than a simple mathematical formula. We don't live in a vacuum. If your breakup is new and it feels like your dead heart is pumping bits of ashes throughout your body and poisoning your veins with despair, know that this extreme lowness physically cannot last forever.

Extreme emotions, bad or good, do not linger. It's the nature of being human. Think about it: How stressful it would be if those apprehensive butterflies and extreme can't-stop-thinking-about-you attraction you felt towards your ex at first lasted throughout your whole relationship?

If this were the case, human beings as a species wouldn't be able to actually survive. I'm simultaneously exhausted and restless just thinking about this. So, eventually, the deep sadness you feel as a result of this breakup will become subdued, almost unnoticeable -- until it starts popping up unexpectedly. Be prepared for these unexpected moments, since you never know when exactly they'll come.

Maybe you watched a movie and there was a brief mention of his favorite sports team. Maybe a character in a book you're reading shares his sister's name. Maybe you're wearing his favorite color today and you realize it halfway during lunch. Have that go-to friend to vent to who won't make you feel bad for "still" being upset. Keep your favorite snack stored in the back of your closet, ready to be eaten at a moment's notice.

Visit those places with friends, family, or solo with a good book or podcast. For now, it may be a good idea to rid your house, car, and office of anything you associate with your ex: photos, mementos, and items that re-stimulate old wounds and continue to remind you of your ex. You can even hold a yard sale, sell items on Craigslist, or donate the goods to charity.

An excess of emotions about your ex will weigh you down as you travel down the path of seeking a new partner. Some constructive, positive ways to release these emotions include getting some exercise , spending time with friends and family, volunteering an excellent way to take you out of your own head , or being creative and expressing yourself through art, writing, or music.

Feeling really pissed? Instead, read it to a therapist, burn it, or throw it away. Instead, blame the relationship or situation — not yourself or your ex. When you carry old wounds, you behave in the present as if that relationship or situation is still going on.

Ask an empathetic friend if they would be willing to hear your entire story, starting from when things went wrong through your present-day feelings and situation. Telling your story not only helps you feel better, but also gives you a way to get perspective, which speeds up the healing process. Try the above strategies to help you get to a neutral place about your ex.